


Aftermath

by Clockwork_Contessa



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clockwork_Contessa/pseuds/Clockwork_Contessa
Summary: The war is over and the Reapers have been destroyed. But what happened to Shepard, her crew, and Earth afterwards?
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

"Admiral Hackett! We've found her!" The rescue party sounded frantic, but the Admiral felt relieved. They had been searching the wreckage from the crashed section of the Citadel for nearly 2 days straight. They had all known the chances of finding Shepard were slim at best, but they needed to try.

"Are you sure it's her?" he yelled as he ran toward the rescue team.

"Genetic scans confirm it, sir," the lead medic said. "This is definitely Commander Shepard." 

The Admiral came as close as he could, to get a good look at her. She looked pretty beaten up--but who wouldn't after doing what she had done? Whatever happened next, at the very least, they would have a body to bury. "How is she?" he asked, almost too afraid to hear the answer.

"She's breathing, but barely," one of the medics replied. "We found a pulse, but it's weak. She appears to have several fractures and severe internal trauma."

"Honestly, sir, it's a miracle she's alive at all," the lead medic chimed in.

"She's a fighter," Hackett said. 

"We've given her some medi-gel, which should stabilize her enough for transport." 

"Well let's get her to that hospital, men." Hackett helped the medics lift Shepard onto a gurney. "Come on, Shepard," he whispered as they loaded her onto a shuttle, "don't die on me now." 

Most of London had been destroyed by the Reaper invasion, but there were still several places in England the Reapers had barely touched. They took Shepard to a hospital in Aylesbury, close to 50 miles northwest of London. The staff was ready and waiting, despite being nearly full to capacity with survivors from the attack on London. Shepard was rushed straight into surgery, and the doctors assured Admiral Hackett that her odds of survival were surprisingly high, considering the degree of trauma she had suffered.

Sitting in the waiting room left Hackett feeling restless. He had never been good at standing around and doing nothing. The more time that passed without news the more nervous he got. He started finding himself thinking of all the things that could go wrong; he needed some kind of distraction.  
.  
"Admiral?"

Hackett turned to see one of his communications officers. "Yes, Lieutenant?" 

"I think I may have found a way to contact the Normandy. I thought you might want to speak with Major Alenko and the rest of the crew."

"Excellent, Lieutenant," Hackett said. He made sure the nurses knew how to reach him the moment they had news before he left. 

***

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy and Liara T'Soni were in the communications room when the call from Admiral Hackett came through.

"Keelah..Shepard survived?"

"Yes, she did," the Admiral replied. "And her chances to make it through surgery seem good. We're all grateful for that."

"Indeed we are," Liara agreed. "I will speak with Joker and EDI; we will try to plot a course for Earth. Thank the goddess we still have all that extra fuel."

"Actually," Admiral Hackett said, "I think I might be able to help you." 

From nowhere, EDI, the Normandy's artificial intelligence, spoke. "Admiral, the Normandy's navigation systems were heavily damaged when we fled through the relay. Any assistance you could provide in establishing our bearings would certainly help us return to Earth efficiently."

Tali quietly slipped out of the comm room. She would let Liara and EDI handle things with Hackett. She needed to find Garrus and tell him Shepard was alive. After Tali and Garrus had been wounded in the approach to the Crucible, Shepard had sent them back to the Normandy, continuing to the Citadel alone. When she detonated the Crucible, the crew had assumed the worst. As her boyfriend, Garrus had taken that the hardest. He had almost refused to let Dr. Chakwas treat his injuries, though they had been mostly superficial. He deserved to be among the first to know she was still alive.  
.  
Tali found him in the main battery, calibrating the guns, probably out of habit at this point. "Garrus," she said. He didn't answer. "Garrus," she said again, more firmly. "Admiral Hackett is on a vid call in the comm room. He was able to contact us--"

"And let me guess," Garrus said, the pain in his voice palpable, "he wanted to tell us that they found her tags, but no body, and they assume the worst." He slumped against the wall, and Tali saw tears silently running down his face. She didn't even know turians could cry. She walked over to her friend, hoping what she was about to say would comfort him.

"Actually, the Admiral was telling us that they found her. She's alive, Garrus." 

The turian looked up at Tali. "She's alive? How is she doing?"

"He said she's still in surgery, but the doctors say her chances are good." 

Garrus practically jumped up. "We need to get back to Earth. Is Hackett still on the comm?"

"He was when I left. He, Liara and EDI were trying to--"

Garrus was out the door and running for the elevator before Tali could finish her thought. Considering his own injuries hadn't fully healed yet, Tali was impressed that he could move that quickly. She herself was moving much more slowly; apart from her injuries, she had picked up an infection from a minor suit rupture. She followed the sounds of Garrus swearing back to the elevator. Tali found herself also wanting to know more about where they were, and more importantly, how long it would take them to get back to Earth. 

They were lucky; the relay they escaped through had taken them to a system in the Exodus Cluster--the closest Cluster to Sol, and by extension, to Earth. Hackett promised to update them as soon as he had news about Shepard, but everyone was anxious to get back. Garrus refused to leave the comm room; he wanted to be there the second Hackett contacted them with new information. Tali stayed with him.

"She's going to be okay, Garrus. She's strong." 

"I know," he replied. "But I just feel like I should be there with her. We shouldn't have let her go into the Citadel alone. Maybe it would have made a difference if we had been there. Maybe she wouldn't have had to--"

"If we had gone with her, we both would have likely died," Tali took Garrus' hand. "We're on our way back to her--that's what's important."

Garrus sighed. "You're probably right, Tali. We couldn't have done anything differently, except maybe not get almost blown up by Reapers. Still, I'll feel better when we're back on Earth."


	2. Chapter 2

It took the Normandy 2 1/2 weeks to reach Earth. There had been very few updates about Shepard's condition, but all of the news had been good. She had pulled through surgery and her numerous fractures were slowly healing. Thankfully her biotic implants were undamaged, as were the cybernetic implants Cerberus had given her when they rebuilt her. She was still facing a long road to recovery, but Shepard was alive.  
Aylesbury didn't have the resources to dock a ship the size of the Normandy, so Joker was forced to dock in London. Cortez took Garrus, Tali and Kaidan to the hospital in the shuttle; the rest of the crew would join them later. 

Admiral Hackett was waiting in the lobby. "Good to see you, Major."

"Good to see you too, Admiral," Kaidan replied, "we're glad we were able to get back."

"What's the latest update?" Garrus asked. "Can we go see her?" 

A nearby nurse walked over to them. "Commander Shepard is currently asleep. Unfortunately, the medication she is on leaves her very groggy. At the moment, only one visitor is allowed in the room with her." 

"You should go, Garrus." Cortez said, patting the turian on the shoulder. Their relationship hadn't exactly been secret; it was impossible to keep secrets on the Normandy.

"We can wait outside," Kaidan agreed. 

Garrus thanked his crewmates, grateful for their understanding, and followed the nurse to Shepard's room. Taking a seat in the chair by the bed, he still couldn't believe she was alive. He remembered watching helplessly as Shepard ran toward the Catalyst, convinced that he would never see her again. But now here she was, asleep in front of him, bruised and battered, but alive. 

Time passed. Garrus sat and waited, watching Shepard sleep. Once or twice he heard her stir, but she stayed sleeping. For the first time in a long time, Garrus felt himself relaxing. The war was over. His father and sister were safe. Shepard was going to make a full recovery. It would take time, but he planned to be with her every step of the way. He would have to figure out logistics later. Most of the forces who had come to Earth for the final stand against the Reapers were still in London; they had been unable to leave when the relays had gone down. He could probably scrounge up some supplies and some dextro food before the fleets inevitably left for Palaven. Primarch Victus would probably want Garrus to help rebuild Palaven, but Garrus' place was with Shepard. He couldn't leave her now. The Primarch would understand. But these were all details to worry about later. For now, Garrus was going to enjoy being with Shepard--even if she was unconscious. 

Hours later, she woke up. 

"Nice to see you've returned to the land of the living," Garrus said with a wry smile.

"Garrus?" Shepard sounded groggy. "Is it really you?"  
"In the flesh."

Shepard sounded more awake now. "But how did you get back? Admiral Hackett said the Crucible had taken out the relays." 

Garrus took Shepard's hand. "I told you it would take more than Reapers to come between this cross-species liaison."

Shepard smiled, then winced in pain. "What about the rest of the crew? Did everyone make it?"

Garrus had to admire Shepard. Here she was, in the hospital after almost dying, and her first thoughts were for her crew. "Everyone made it. They're all fine. Tali, Kaidan and Cortez are in the lobby with Hackett. Everyone else is in London, with the Normandy. They'll be here in the morning." 

About an hour after Shepard woke up, the nurse came by on rounds. 

"How's the patient doing?" she asked as she gave Shepard a tray of food and some pills. 

"I'm feeling up to having more visitors," Shepard said, taking the glass of water from the tray. 

The nurse smiled, "I think that can be arranged. I know you have some guests who have been waiting patiently to see you. I'll go get them."

It didn't take long for Tali, Cortez and Kaidan to get to Shepard's room. "Keelah, it's good to see you, Shepard." 

"It's good to see you too, Tali," Shepard said, smiling. 

"How are you feeling, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard winced. "Grateful for painkillers." 

Kaidan nodded, understanding. He wanted to ask her about the Crucible, but he knew he shouldn't. Not then and there.

Shepard wanted to know more about what had happened to the Normandy after she detonated the Crucible, and her crew was eager to tell her. She listened as Tali, Garrus, Cortez, and Kaidan took turns telling the story. Joker had gotten the ship to a relay before the relays went down, but the navigation systems crashed and they were flying blind. For a while they were afraid EDI had died with the navigation systems, but when she started responding again they knew she was okay. They crash landed on Tyr, a jungle planet in the Exodus Cluster, but there was minimal damage to the ship. Once EDI got the comm systems back up Admiral Hackett had been able to contact then, and then they figured out where they were as well as how to get back to Earth. During the trip back Tali and Traynor had been able to fix the navigation systems, so the Normandy was herself again. 

When Kaidan finished talking the nurse came back. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over. You can all come back tomorrow, but for now the Commander needs her rest."

Tali, Cortez and Kaidan started to head to the door, but Garrus remained sitting. "I'm going to stay with her," he said, his voice firm. He wasn't going anywhere. 

The nurse looked at him, smiling sweetly. "I'm sorry, sir, but only immediate family or significant others are permitted to stay overnight with patients." 

"I am her significant other," Garrus replied, doing his best to keep his voice level. 

The nurse looked shocked. "Oh! Well, in that case, I'll get you a blanket." She blushed as she left, clearly embarrassed. 

Cortez looked at Shepard and Garrus. "Sleep well, Commander. We'll be back in the morning, with everyone else." 

"Good," Shepard said. 

Garrus closed the door behind Kaidan, Tali and Cortez. "Alone at last," he said, mandibles raised in what passed for a turian smile  
.  
Shepard smiled back. "I meant to ask earlier, but how are you doing? You and Tali had been hit pretty badly when I sent you back to the Normandy."

"I'm fine. It was just a few scratches. I got some new scars, though." He winked. "When you get better, I'll show you where."

Shepard laughed. "I look forward to it."

Garrus gently helped Shepard move to one side of the tiny hospital bed, an act that proved difficult with Shepard's broken leg. He sat next to her, putting his arm around her, feeling her warm presence. He sighed in relief, this was real. She was really here. "Seriously, though," he said, "I'm just happy that you're alive. The universe was awfully lonely, thinking you were gone."

The rest of Shepard's squad visited her the next morning. She was relieved to see everyone alive and well. Especially EDI. The Catalyst AI had told Shepard that the Crucible would not discriminate: anything with Reaper technology would be destroyed.

"I have been doing extensive self-modification since Jeff released me from my shackles and I began inhabiting this body," EDI said when Shepard told her what the Catalyst AI had said. "Perhaps I altered myself to the point where the Reaper technology was no longer recognizable." 

"Shepard," Tali started to say, "If the Crucible destroyed everything with Reaper tech, then, the geth--"

Shepard hung her head. "I know. I had no other choice, Tali." 

"You did what you had to, Shepard," Garrus said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. He was stilling sitting on the bed next to her. "You saved the galaxy."

"Yeah," Joker said, "Besides, the quarians already built the geth once, right?" 

"I'm sure Admiral Xen will enjoy trying to rebuild them," Tali said. 

The squad sat in silence for a few minutes. Everyone wanted to ask Shepard one thing, but no one wanted to be the ones to pose the question. Finally, Kaidan spoke up. "Shepard, if you don't mind my asking, what happened when you got to the Citadel?"

Shepard took a deep breath. She knew she was going to have to talk about it eventually, so she might as well do it now. She started talking. She told her squad about finding Anderson and the Illusive Man. She fought off tears as she told them about Anderson's death and activating the Crucible. She repeated what she could remember of the Catalyst AI's speech about the history of the Reapers, the cycle, and her options. Finally, she told them about choosing to destroy the Reapers, knowing that doing so would sacrifice EDI and the geth; she hadn't trusted the AI was telling the truth--she didn't think she could control the Reapers and end the cycle.

Once Shepard finished talking, no one really knew what to say. Finally, Vega spoke up. "You did the right thing, Lola. Who knows whether or not that AI was telling the truth about the possibilities. I, for one, and glad that I didn't suddenly get made half synthetic."

"James is correct," EDI commented. "It is reasonable that the AI would lie in an attempt to preserve its own life."

Shepard was relieved; she had worried that her friends--they weren't just her squad anymore--wouldn't understand why she had made the decision she had. She was about to thank them, for everything, when a nurse walked in with her next round of medication.  
"I hate to break up this little party, but the Commander needs her rest. She can have more visitors later, but for now you need to leave." 

Everyone said goodbye as they filed out of the room. Garrus pressed his forehead against Shepard's --a turian kiss-- before he stood up. "I have a few things I need to do, but I'll be back later tonight."

"Okay. I'll see you later, then. You know where I'll be," Shepard said, smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

Garrus and Tali stepped out of the shuttle and made their way to the partially collapsed building Primarch Victus had turned into a makeshift turian embassy. Garrus could tell the turians were getting ready to finally start the long journey back to Palaven--a journey made even longer by the damaged relays. 

They waited for the Primarch in what had probably been a conference room before the war, taking advantage of the food they were offered. Dextro provisions on the Normandy were running low, and Earth was not well stocked with what they needed. 

Tali continued eating as Garrus spoke with the Primarch. He was recommending the turians leave a small force on Earth to assist with rebuilding the areas that had been damaged the most. "A few turian engineers would be an invaluable resource in the effort to rebuild Earth, and also to research the damage to the mass relays." 

The Primarch listened carefully to Garrus as he continued. "Admiral Hackett assures me that any aid we give the Alliance will be repaid on Palaven as soon as the resources can be spared, and we would not be the only species giving aid to Earth." 

The Primarch still seemed hesitant, but that intrigued him. Tali decided to speak up, "I've spoken with the rest of the Admiralty Board, and we agreed to leave a small unit of technicians and troops to assist the humans, and I will be leading them."

"Well," the Primarch said slowly, "if the quarians are assisting the humans, we can spare a few soldiers and engineers as well. Vakarian, I'm going to put them under your command. Go meet with the quartermaster to get what supplies you need, and you can arrange ways to get more should you need them."

"Thank you, Primarch," Garrus said. 

"Think nothing of it, Garrus," Primarch Victus replied, "You're completely right; our support shouldn't end now that the Reapers are gone. We'll give what aid we can."

"Thank you, Primarch," Tali said. 

As the two of them left the run down conference room, the Primarch spoke under his breath, "Take care of her, Vakarian. The two of you deserve to be happy." 

***

The quartermaster was located in one of the turian ships. Garrus quickly grabbed the supplies he thought he would need—a few weapons, thermal clips, and enough food to last a crew of 4 for a year. Turian military rations were not the most appetizing things, but food was food. Garrus didn’t think his crew would be more than 4 people; the Primarch probably didn’t think they had many men to spare. Nevertheless, Garrus was grateful the Primarch had approved his plan at all. 

The quartermaster’s assistant was about as friendly as a vorcha. He spent the whole time muttering under his breath about “wasting resources.” After a few minutes, Garrus had had enough. “Is there a problem, sergeant?” 

The soldier stared at Garrus. “Yes, sir, there is. I don’t understand why we’re wasting our men to help the humans when Palaven is in ruins.” 

Tali was surprised; she had never seen a turian be so blatantly disrespectful to a superior officer. 

“It doesn’t matter whether you understand or not, sergeant,” the quartermaster snapped, “the Primarch gave orders; it’s your job to follow them.” 

“But we know this assignment isn’t about helping the humans rebuild—it’s an excuse for Vakarian to pretend to be useful while he stays on Earth with his human whore!”

It was all Garrus could do not to shoot the sergeant. Tali, however, had pulled her shotgun on the young turian soldier. “Listen up, you bosh’tet. Garrus is leading a group of soldiers to help the Alliance, just like the quarians are. That assignment has nothing to do with Shepard.” 

“Even if it did,” the quartermaster interjected, “need I remind you that it was Shepard who convinced the krogan to help us hold Palaven? And it was Shepard who defeated the Reapers, saving your sorry ass from being eviscerated. Now shut your mouth and go back to doing your job—silently, before I let this quarian shoot you.”

The sergeant opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again without speaking. He slammed the last of the supplies on the counter and stormed off. Tali put her shotgun away. 

“My apologies for the sergeant’s behavior,” the quartermaster said. “It’s not the first time his mouth has gotten him into trouble.” 

“He’s lucky you were here,” Tali said. “I would have shot him.”

“He’d have deserved it,” Garrus said. “Right in the leg—painful, but not debilitating. Turians do not talk to superiors like that.”

The quartermaster laughed. “Don’t worry, when his CO is done with him, he’ll wish he’d only been shot. Now, is there anything else you need?”

Garrus double checked the supplies in front of him. “I think we’ve got everything, thanks.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Shepard, are you awake?” It had been three weeks since the Normandy had returned to Earth, and Garrus had spent every night in the hospital with Shepard. 

“Yeah, I can’t sleep.” 

“Good. I have an idea.” Garrus crept out of the room. A few minutes later he returned, pushing an empty wheelchair. “My lady, your chariot awaits.” 

Shepard laughed. “What are you doing?” 

“Taking you on an adventure.” Garrus helped Shepard into the wheelchair. Her leg would still be in a cast for a few more weeks; it had been so badly broken that medi-gel was only marginally useful. After checking to make sure there were no nurses around, Garrus and Shepard headed down the hallway across from her hospital room. He pushed her quickly, gaining some speed. They reached a ramp and she practically flew down the tile; Garrus had to struggle to keep the wheelchair from crashing. When they saw the shadow of a nurse on rounds, Garrus immediately turned the wheelchair down another hallway. This time he lost control of the chair, and Shepard crashed into the wall. 

Shepard narrowly avoided slamming her broken leg against the concrete. “You are never allowed to give me a hard time about the way I drove the Mako again.” 

“You’re not hurt are you?” Garrus immediately crouched by her side, his voice full of concern. 

“I’m okay.” 

“Good.” Garrus was much more careful with the wheelchair for the rest of their trip to the roof. “I thought you’d like to see the stars again. Though the view from down here is a little different than the view from the Normandy’s Observation Deck.” 

The night sky was completely clear, the twinkling stars contrasting against the black expanse. Shepard remembered her childhood, as an orphan running around the streets, when she would spend the night in a park and simply stargaze. “It’s beautiful out,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Garrus sat on the arm of her chair and put his arm around her. “Second most beautiful thing I’ve seen tonight.” Shepard could feel herself blushing and was thankful it was so dark out. “Shepard, I’ve never met anyone like you before. Two years ago, when you stopped me from killing Sidonis… I don’t think anyone else could have convinced me to do that. When the Citadel collapsed, I was afraid I'd lost you again. I never thought, when you approached me during the Collector mission, that one night would turn into something this...incredible. But I'm glad it did.” 

“I am too,” Shepard replied. “Though, my flexibility’s going to be shot for a little while….” 

Garrus hugged her; he’d gotten better at doing so. “I think we’ll manage somehow. After all, I still have reach.” He winked. 

***

Approximately 6 weeks after being found in a pile of rubble, barely alive, Commander Shepard was released from the hospital. 

“Take me to the Normandy,” she said to Garrus and Cortez as soon as she was out the door. 

Cortez nodded. “Yes, ma’am. The Kodiak is ready and waiting.” 

Shepard leaned on Garrus as she limped to the shuttle. Though out of the hospital, she was still far from fully healed. The doctors had told her to take it easy, and in a couple of weeks she was going to be starting physical therapy for her leg. At least Garrus and Tali would be staying on Earth, leading small teams of quarians and turians in an effort to help the Alliance stabilize Earth. She knew they were really staying to help her fully recover, and she was grateful. 

Back on the Normandy, Shepard felt human again. This was her ship: she was home at last. The Reapers had tried to take everything, but she had stopped them. They were gone. So why did she feel so restless?

She found herself in the lounge, staring at the destruction outside. They had won the war, yes, but the cost had been high. Thessia, Palaven, Earth—how many other planets had fallen, or nearly fallen? How long would it take the galaxy to recover? 

“Hey, Shepard,” Kaidan said, walking into the lounge. He joined her at the window “Insane, isn’t it?” he said. “All that damage.” The two of them stood at the window, staring silently. 

“Gather the squad,” Shepard said suddenly. “We’re going for a walk outside.” 

Shepard, Cortez, Kaidan, Liara, James, Garrus and Tali walked through the streets of London. Not much had been done in the two months since the war had ended. The Alliance had been overwhelmed by the Reaper invasion. So far, they had mostly been recovering the bodies of the fallen. 

When Shepard saw the familiar façade of the structure that had sent her to the Citadel she stopped cold. She buried the memories of Harbinger’s lasers gunning down her fellow soldiers. She tried not to think about saying goodbye to Garrus and Tali as she planned to head to the Citadel alone. 

She limped forward; she had to get closer. Then she saw it—the remains of Harbinger. Ignoring her squad mates, she got closer. She needed to see it—to know that it was really over. 

Shepard’s squad stood silently as she headed closer to the to the lifeless shell of Harbinger; they didn’t know what else to do. At one point, Shepard stumbled, almost falling. Garrus started forward, wanting to run to her, to help, but Liara held him back. “She’ll be okay.” Garrus reluctantly stepped back. Whatever Shepard was doing, she needed to do it alone. 

All of a sudden, Shepard started glowing blue, and she unleashed a biotic attack on Harbinger’s shell. She released another, and another. 

Garrus cried out in concern. “We should stop her! She’ll wear herself out.” He started after her again, but this time Cortez stopped him. 

“Let me go,” he said, and he ran toward the Commander. 

“I’m going too!” James called out, running after Cortez. 

Cortez and Vega approached Shepard carefully. She was still pummeling Harbinger with her biotics. When they got close enough, they called out to her. “Commander!”

She turned, facing them, glowing blue, her biotic power almost crackling. 

“Commander, it’s me! It’s Steve! And James.”

“Steve?” she faltered, unsure. 

“Yeah. It’s Steve. It’s okay; you can stop. Harbinger’s dead.”

Shepard stopped glowing. “Harbinger’s dead.” She was talking more to herself than to Cortez. 

“Yeah, Lola, it’s dead. And maybe you like your Reapers extra crispy, but I personally prefer them medium well.” 

Cortez smiled; leave it to Vega to crack jokes at a time like this. But it worked. Shepard collapsed as her leg went out from under her, but Vega was there to catch her. “I’ve got you, Lola.”

“Thanks, James,” she said, wincing. 

“No problem, Lola. Now come on, let’s get back to everyone else.”

Shepard let Cortez and Vega help her hobble back to the rest of her team. Garrus ran forward to meet them and took over as her support. 

“You all right?” he asked. 

“No,” Shepard said, “but I will be.” It was true that they had lost a lot in the war, and the galaxy as they had known it would never be the same. But the galaxy would recover. And the Reapers were gone, for good.


	5. Chapter 5

“Come on, Shepard, you can’t live in the Normandy while we’re here on Earth.” Garrus, Shepard, and Tali stepped out of the sky car in front of the apartment building. They were back in Aylesbury; London had made remarkable progress cleaning through the rubble and downed buildings in the 6 months since the war had ended, but the buildings were still unsuitable living spaces. 

“Why not? We’ve been just fine so far.” 

“Really, Shepard?” Tali scoffed. Garrus imagined her rolling her eyes beneath the helmet of her enviro-suit. 

Garrus gave his human girlfriend a little push toward the door. “Well I for one am tired of sleeping next to the giant guns. They’re terrible about hogging the blankets.” 

That made Shepard smile. “I guess it will be nice to have a place of our own.” 

Shepard appreciated that the apartment was on the first floor; her physical therapy had been going well, but her leg still ached when she got tired. The apartment wasn’t as nice as Anderson’s place in the Citadel had been, but it was still better than anything Shepard had ever lived in before: three bedrooms, fully furnished, exterior windows looking out onto the nearby lake.

“Keelah,” Tali said. 

“I know it’s not Rannoch, but…” Shepard started to say.

“It’s better,” Tali interrupted. 

As Shepard watched the eager quarian wander throughout their new home, she couldn’t help but smile. The Normandy had been home to them for the longest time, but Tali was right: this was better. 

“Hey Shepard, come here!” Garrus called from their bedroom. 

“What do you need?” she said, only to stop just inside the doorway. A giant aquarium—at least 25 galloons—stood against the wall across from the bed. Shepard was shocked. “How did you get my fish here from the Normandy?” 

“Very carefully,” Garrus said, laughing. “Your hamster will be here later today; Liara wanted to clean the cage first.” 

Shepard hugged him. “Did you do this?” 

“I wanted you to have at least a little bit of the Normandy here. Make it a little more like home.” 

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” 

A knock at the door interrupted the moment. “Hey Lola,” James yelled, letting himself in. “How’s it going?” 

Shepard heard Tali greet Vega. She quickly kissed Garrus before the two of them went back to the living room. 

“Hey, James,” Shepard said. 

“I like the new place, Lola.” Vega made himself right at home, throwing himself on the couch. 

“What’s in the bag?” Garrus asked, looking at a gift bag James had left by the door. 

“Oh. Right! That’s for Shepard. Call it an ‘I’m glad you’re not dead,’ gift.” 

Shepard laughed, taking the bag from Garrus. “Well thank you, James. I’m glad you’re not dead either.” She opened her gift, a model of the Citadel, at least, as it had been before the war.

“I remember you saying something about not being able to find one to add to your collection. I saw it awhile back, actually. Didn’t have the chance to give it to you before…well...” 

Shepard knew Vega was talking, but he sounded far away. She stood there, holding the miniature Citadel—the Catalyst—the unintentional final piece of a long, bloody puzzle. 

_The last thing she remembers is the light from the beam surrounding her, blinding her. Her vision clears, and she takes a minute to orient to her new surroundings. This must be the Citadel. But where is she? This doesn’t look like anywhere she’s seen in the Citadel before._

_Everything is red. Bodies line the floor, most of them human. The smell of burning, acrid flesh permeates the air. She doesn’t want to know what happened to these people. Pain overwhelms her. She pushes through it. She’s come so far. She can’t fail now._

_The silence unnerves her. Piles of corpses stare at her with dead eyes. She swears. If only she had gotten here faster, maybe she could have saved them. How many had she been unable to save? She shakes her head, the pain of the movement bringing her focus back. She couldn’t save them, no, but she has the opportunity to save others. She can end this terrible war._

_She limps forward, biting back a scream. A keeper in the corner of the room sorts through the corpses at its feet. She watches as it picks up a severed head and scuttles away._

_Following the keeper’s path with her gaze, she sees a pathway. She still doesn’t know where she is, or where she needs to go to activate the Crucible, but the pathway seems to lead to white light. Somehow, she knows she should head toward the light, away from the red and the death._

_Keep moving. Open the arms. Stop the Reapers. End the war._

“….isn’t that right, Shepard?” Garrus’ voice brought Shepard out of her memory and into the present. 

“What? Yeah, of course.” She had no idea what she was agreeing to, but she didn’t care. She turned around in a quick circle, checking the area to make sure there were no corpses, no red light. She took a deep breath, calming her nerves. This wasn’t the first time she had found herself lost in memories from the war. She took another deep breath. It was just a memory. She was in her new apartment, with her friends. There was no need to panic.


	6. Chapter 6

_The unmistakable screech of a Banshee echoes through the abandoned building. Cortez is down for the count; Shepard is grateful he even survived the Kodiak crash. Her own fortunes are not looking as good. They have no means of extraction; she calls over the radio again and again, but no response comes._

_“All right people, we’ve got to hold out until help comes.” Shepard tries to sound strong for her squad, but she struggles to keep herself together._

_The Banshee materializes, only 50 feet away. Shepard launches a biotic attack as Garrus fires a concussive shot. The Banshee slows for only a second, then she moves—they’re so fast—now she’s 20 feet away. Shepard screams as she unleashes her biotics on the Banshee again. Tali’s drone inserts itself between Shepard and the Banshee, creating enough of a distraction for Shepard to line up the shot with the scope of her sniper rifle. Simultaneous headshots from Garrus and Shepard finally take the Banshee down._

_Out of nowhere, Cannibals surround them. Damn it! Had she really been so focused on the Banshee that she didn’t think about other enemies? The Cannibals are closing in around her squad. She hears Tali scream and watches as the quarian crumbles to the ground. In the blink of an eye Garrus switches out his sniper rifle for an assault rifle. Shepard tries to throw a singularity, to catch as many of them as she can, but the blast of a nearby grenade launches her in the air._

_She hits the ground hard, and her barriers shatter. She tries to use her biotics again; pain sears through her head and her vision blurs. She can hear Garrus yelling her name, trying to carve a path through the Cannibals to get to her, to save her, but he won’t make it in time. As the Cannibals close in around her, she knows she’s failed. No one can help her out of this. She’s going to die._

Shepard woke up screaming. Frantically, she searched the room, looking back and forth. There were no Reaper troops: just an aquarium, a bed, and a worried turian next to her.

“Shepard, are you all right?” Garrus was doing his best to remain calm. 

Shepard sat up. She closed her eyes and counted, slowly, to ten. “It was a dream,” she says more to herself than to Garrus. “Just a bad dream.”

Garrus put his arm around her, and she lay against him. She’d always imagined turian plating being nothing but sharp edges and hard plates, but she always felt comfortable lying against Garrus. The two of them fit together so naturally. As she hugged him tightly she felt then tension and the fear from her nightmare slowly evaporate. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, knowing full well what her answer would be. 

“Not right now. Can you just hold me?” 

“You never have to ask that,” Garrus said, pulling her even closer to him. She closed her eyes, and Garrus watched her drift back to sleep. 

When he first met her, Garrus would never have expected the great Commander Shepard to ever be vulnerable. Turians didn’t have the same notions humans did about women being weaker, but Shepard impressed him. He hadn’t known many humans before her, and most of the ones he had known were like Harkin; corrupt, useless drains on resources. But Shepard? She was different. He had been eager to join her on the mission to stop Saren. When he did, she continued to surprise him. Shepard showed none of the xenophobia he had come to expect from humans. She made it clear that she was more than just a commanding officer, she wanted to be friends as well. Garrus wasn’t used to that; in the turian military, the CO remained distant from the squad. 

He remembered every conversation they had in the cargo bay on the first Normandy. They talked about more than just the mission; Shepard had lived up to her word of wanting to be friends, and he was grateful for it, if a little surprised. It seemed fitting—a human and a turian becoming closer on a ship designed by humans and turians working together. He took it all as a sign that maybe the damage from Shanxi could eventually be undone. He saw just how strong she really was, and he respected her for it. 

Garrus couldn’t help but worry about Shepard. This wasn’t the first night she had woken up screaming, clearly rattled by a nightmare. He had hoped that moving into the apartment and spending some time away from the Normandy would help her sleep better. And the other day, when Vega gave her the model of the Citadel, something had happened to her. When she finally started talking with them again her eyes were full of fear and pain. Vega and Tali hadn’t noticed, but Garrus had. 

Shepard cried out and suddenly hugged him tighter, though she was still sleeping. Her face scrunched. She must have been having another nightmare. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, “it’s okay. I’m here.” She relaxed. 

***

Shepard felt restless. She was still in physical therapy, and her doctors had told her to take it easy until further notice. The crew of the Normandy had things to do every day, while she had to sit in her apartment and feed her fish. Her friends took turns visiting her, keeping her company when they could, and she appreciated it. Having people to talk to distracted her. When she was alone her thoughts drifted dangerously. Sometimes, she swore she could hear the scream of a Banshee or see the red light of Harbinger’s laser. She tried to convince Garrus to let her come with him out of the apartment. He always told her no, that he wished he could, but he didn’t want her to hurt herself again. 

Every night her dreams took her to the edges of the galaxy: Palaven, Tuchanka, Omega, Thessia, the Citadel. She could hardly stand living through everything the first time, and having it replay in her head? That was pure torture. Eventually the thought of sleep terrified her. Garrus was starting to notice, but he didn’t say anything. He knew she would talk to him when she was ready. 

_She wakes up on a table with the room exploding around her. The lights are bright, harsh. A voice talks to her, tells her to get a pistol and get out. Her body is heavy. Mechs attack her, guns blazing. Her biotics aren’t working, but her marksmanship skills are still in tact. Metal bodies soon litter the floor, thunking loudly as they fall. She gingerly steps through them, moving forward, toward safety. Suddenly a metal hand clasps around her ankle, pulling her to the ground. She screams, shooting blindly. The hand releases, and she gets back up. She runs through the hallway, into more mechs. The voice guiding her has gone silent. The mechs begin to surround her, guns pointed at her face. She tries again to use her biotic, to no avails. Why won’t they work?_

_Her belongings and furniture float in a steady circle of blue light in her bedroom. Garrus has his hands on her arm. He’s saying something, but she can’t tell what it is. Where is she?_

Shepard cried out and dropped the Singularity, much to Garrus’ relief. She shuddered and collapsed on the bed, falling through Garrus’ arms. “Shepard!” he called out, putting his hands behind her head as she fell, trying to protect her head. 

“Garrus?” Shepard sounded confused, unsure. “Where am I?”

Garrus pulled her into a hug. “You’re here. With me. At home. We’re safe. Nothing can get you here.” She wrapped her arms around him and dissolved into tears. Garrus held her as she cried, comforting her the only way he knew how. The door burst open and Tali came in, but before she could say anything Garrus shook his head. She nodded back at him and left. “Shepard,” he said softly when she stopped crying, “where did you go?”

She wiped her tears on her shirt sleeve, shaking. “The Cerberus base. When I first was brought back.” She took some deep breaths, steadying herself. When she spoke she sounded afraid. “There were mechs, everywhere. My biotics wouldn’t work. I couldn’t get out.” She buried her face in his chest and hugged him. He put his hand on her head, holding her close. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

Garrus pulled her a little closer. “I’m fine, Shepard.” He could feel her relax in his arms. “We might need to redecorate a little, though. Thank the spirits you didn’t hit the fish tank.” She pulled away and gave him a confused look. He gestured over at the middle of the room, where her Singularity had grabbed everything, picked it up, and dropped it. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll fix it.” 

Shepard leaned back against her partner and took a deep breath. She needed to talk to someone about what was happening to her, and he of all people would understand. He wouldn’t judge her. “Every night I dream about something else,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest. “Even if it starts happy it goes wrong somehow.” He held her tighter, comforting her. “Something bad always happens. People get hurt. People die. The world ends.” She shivered and started crying again. “And I can’t stop it.” 

“The turians have a saying,” Garrus said. “Mourn the dead. Fight like hell for the living.” He let her go, looked her in the eye, and wiped her tears off her face. “The war was hell. Millions died. But billions more are alive because of you. You’ve seen a lot of bad. We all have. But we’ve done so much good too. Don’t let the bad make you lose sight of the good.” 

Shepard slept better that night, but Garrus didn’t sleep at all. He held his partner like she would float away if he let go. He was scared for her. All she had seen, all she had been through, he couldn’t even imagine what it must have been like for her. They had gone through a lot together: Saren, Sovereign, the Collectors, Cerberus, the Reapers. He remembered the day the Normandy was attacked by the Collector ship. The day she died. He got whoever he could into the escape pods. He wanted to stay with her, but Liara pulled him back. He watched, helpless, as the ship exploded, falling to the planet below. He did nothing while the crew who didn’t escape crashed with the ship. He cried when he saw Shepard’s body floating, lifeless in space. He tried to start over in Omega, but when he lost his squad it was like losing the Normandy all over again. He’d never forget the moment, on the bridge, with other mercs closing in on him, that he saw her. When she turned on the mercs with her, to help him, he had hope again. He knew, in that split second, that she was real. She was there to save him. 

The Collector mission started a new chapter in their relationship. They were friendly in the original Normandy; Shepard made a point to get to know her crew. But on the SR-2, things were different. She came to see him more often, just him, and they had just…talked. No rank, no ceremony, just two soldiers telling war stories. She opened up to him in a way he didn’t think she opened up to many. She told him about Torfan, about growing up on the streets of Earth. She told him secrets she hadn’t told anyone before. He saw the real her, the one that lived beneath the mask she kept to maintain morale on the ship. He let her see him, too, the him that no one ever saw. She stopped him from killing Sidonis, not because she felt the scoundrel deserved mercy, but because she knew the effect cold blooded murder would have on him. He didn’t want to admit it, but in that moment, she knew him better than he knew himself. 

When she suggested spending the night together, he was nervous. He was inexperienced enough with turian women; he knew nothing of human women. He wanted to give her a good time, not just because they thought they might die, but because he was hoping they would live. The six months she was locked up on Earth were hard for him. He didn’t understand why at first, but he realized eventually that his admiration for Shepard had evolved into romantic interest, and he had no idea if he was ever going to see her again. He threw himself into his work preparing for the inevitable Reaper attack, but the absence of Shepard ate a hole in his heart that nothing could fill. When she showed up on Manae, he knew he was going with her, no matter what. Now, not even another Reaper war could tear him away from her.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Garrus let Shepard sleep in. It took some work to get out of bed without disturbing her, but he managed. He crept out of the bedroom and met Tali in the kitchen. 

“Garrus, is she okay?” Tali, too, was concerned for Shepard. 

“Her body’s had time to heal, but her brain and heart are still trying to catch up.” He grabbed some coffee and some cereal and sat at the table. He looked back at the bedroom door, where the sleeping Shepard hopefully dreamed peacefully. “I wish I knew how to help her.” 

Tali joined him at the table. “We all do,” she said softly. “Do you have to be anywhere today?” 

He grabbed a nearby datapad and checked his schedule. “I don’t think so. I gave the crew the day off; we’ve been working nonstop for almost two weeks now. What about you?”

“I told my engineers to take a break for the day. We want to rebuild quickly, but without wearing ourselves down in the process. We should do something, with Shepard. She’s been cooped up at home for so long. She must be getting restless. I’m surprised she hasn’t shot anything yet.”

Garrus chuckled. “It would be nice to relax a little. Did you have anything in mind?”

Tali got up from the table and picked up a datapad from the counter. “As a matter of fact, I do.” She showed Garrus a map of a park in London. “The park has been rebuilt, with a monument to those that died. I thought Shepard might like to see it. And I hear fresh air is good for humans.” She laughed. “Cortez can get the shuttle here as soon as we call him, and Joker found a wheelchair she can use if she needs to.”

Garrus looked at the quarian woman in front of him and smiled. “That sounds perfect. She can get out of the apartment and walk a little bit. Her leg has gotten better, and she sees her doctor again next week. I think seeing the progress that’s been made toward rebuilding will do her some good. But for now, let’s let her sleep.”

Shepard slept until the early afternoon. When she came into the living room, Garrus and Tali had food and coffee waiting for her at the kitchen table, which she ate quickly. “I’m surprised you two are still here,” she said, “I thought you’d be needed for emergency repairs or something.” She sounded truly happy to see them, and she smiled. 

“We gave our people a day to rest. No sense rebuilding if you’re going to burn yourself out in the process. Besides, we wanted to take you somewhere that’s not here,” Garrus replied. 

Shepard smiled, “I would like nothing more.” 

Cortez showed up with the Kodiak an hour later, and he and Garrus helped Shepard into the shuttle. “Good to see you, Shepard,” he said. “Hope you’re not going too stir crazy yet.” 

“I’m just happy to get out for a day,” she said. 

“I bet,” Cortez replied. He flew them to London and set down near the park Tali had shown him. He and Garrus helped Shepard onto her feet. Her limp was a lot better, almost gone in fact, but he had the wheelchair in the Kodiak, just in case. 

It was a beautiful September afternoon. The air was cool, but not cold, and the weather was clear. The four of them walked through the park, letting Shepard dictate the pace. The animals were starting to return to the park. Garrus watched a couple of squirrels flit up and down a particularly large tree. He listened to the birds as they flew by. This was the Earth he had looked forward to seeing, ever since Shepard first told him about her life growing up. It was truly beautiful. Turians had very few parks, and even fewer squirrels. 

Shepard leaned on Garrus as they stood in front of the monument. Names were engraved in neat little columns that covered the entire surface. There were human, turian, krogan, and quarian names on the monument, which surprised Garrus. He watched Shepard carefully as she read through the names. “So many people,” she said. “And these were just the ones who were found.” Her hands clenched into fists, and she slumped against Garrus. Her body stiffened, and her eyes closed. She was falling into a waking nightmare. Quickly, he maneuvered himself so that he was facing her, gripping her shoulders with his hands. “It’s okay, Shepard. I’m here. Cortez is here. Tali is here. You’re safe.” He repeated this mantra over and over, while Cortez and Tali watched, unsure of what to do. She started glowing a few times, but she never used her biotics. She was only gone for a few minutes, but those minutes felt like hours. When she came back to him, she was crying. He held her against himself, embracing her, making sure she knew he was there for her, that he would always be there for her. Cortez ran to the Kodiak to get the wheelchair, and she sat down when he came back. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Shepard said, over and over. Garrus wasn’t sure who she was apologizing to. 

He crouched on the ground in front of her, and took both of her hands in his. “Mourn the dead,” he said. 

“And fight like hell for the living,” she finished. 

Shepard insisted on staying at the monument for what felt like a long time. She said something about wanting to pay proper respect, but Garrus thought she might also need the time to completely stabilize herself. She wanted to appear stronger than she was for Tali and Cortez. That mask again. Protect the crew, at the expense of herself. He let her lean against him while they stood in front of the monument. He put his arm around her and gently squeezed her shoulder. Whatever she was going through, he would be there, and he wanted to make sure she knew that. He only wished he could do more for her, but whatever she was going through was something she had to work out for herself. Maybe only time would help.

As the four of them walked back to the Kodiak, they made light conversation. Cortez cracked jokes, most of them poking fun at Vega. Tali commented on the birds and the squirrels. She was so excited to see live animals. Garrus imagined they didn’t have many on the flotilla. Shepard was quiet the entire time, absorbing the conversation her friends were having but not participating in it. She was walking on her own, perhaps because she didn’t want to appear any weaker than she already had. Garrus kept an eye on her as they walked, ready to help steady her if she needed it. But she was strong, one of the strongest women he had ever met.


	8. Chapter 8

After almost a year of recovery, Shepard was cleared for active duty. She was in charge of the Normandy again. She had worried that her injuries from the Reaper war were so severe that she’d been grounded permanently. But thankfully she had healed, and she was getting back into space. More importantly, her crew was coming with her. Garrus and Tali had finished the work they set out to do on Earth; their squads had already left for Palaven and Rannoch. 

She packed what she would need from her apartment and got ready to head back to her ship. Her apartment would be waiting for her whenever she came back to Earth, but the Normandy was her home. She leaned in the doorway and watched the sun set, not hearing Garrus come up behind her. 

“Gonna miss it?” he asked, brushing her hair out of her face. ‘We don’t see many sunsets like this on the Normandy.”

“We don’t,” she agreed, “and I will miss it. But it’s not going anywhere, and we can always come back to visit.” She turned to look at her boyfriend.

“That’s true,” Garrus replied. “And in the meantime, we have a whole galaxy waiting for us. And there’s no one I’d rather explore it with than you.” 

Shepard smiled at her boyfriend, then kissed him on the cheek. “I think we should start with Palaven.”

“You mean it?” 

“I do.”

So much had happened since Shepard had destroyed the Reapers. She was amazed that the galaxy had rebuilt itself so substantially in a short amount of time. The relays had been repaired and were good as new. The Citadel had been too damaged to fix, but the asari, turians, and quarians had worked together to make something even better. The Council had been expanded to include a representative from every race that wanted a seat, even the hanar. It was a brand new era in the galaxy, and Shepard had made it happen. 

Two hours after she watched the sun set with Garrus, Shepard was standing in the command center of the Normandy “Alright, Commander,” Joker’s voice called over the comms, “Where to?”


End file.
